Who Are You?
I have a theory… Crazy stuff happens when I have the computer in my lap and I am working on another story for the blog. That always seems to be the moment in time where a real winner walks in and makes my day hit that oh so special WTF-O-Meter. Like today! Let me elaborate……
It was a steady day today and I was, as I said before, writing another separate story for this blog when the Love Lips door jingled. I folded up the lap top and said, “Hi, how are you?"
A short man in a blue wind breaker, puffy eyes, in his late 40’s with a drunken look said with a wide eyed stare in my general direction, “Who am I?!”
I will admit I was a little shocked at his reaction and what he thought I said, so I said slower and louder so he could hear me from behind the glass, “…I said; How are you?” I tried to smile but his obvious drunken state kind of made it waver.
He looked at me with an ‘I don’t know about you’ face and then said, “Oh…” He fixed me with another sketchy face and continued, “What’s this? Bullet proof glass?” Tap-tap-tap on my glass his dirty fingers raped.
“Yes” I said flatly. I wonder how long I’ll have to tell this story. It happened such a long time ago now.
He wandered up and down the cage looking at how far it went and then said in my general direction. “Did you all get robbed or something?”
“Yeah…” Why do people always ask that? We put in plexi-glass because it looks good? Come on! OF COURSE we got robbed!!!
“Do you know who did it?” He said suspiciously.
If we did, they wouldn’t have robbed us now would they? “Nope” At this point I was looking for something to write all this down with so I could add this to a Short and Not So Sweet entry for later, little did I know this was going to be much longer and more epic.
“Did it happen more than once?” He kept prying.
I was losing my patience, “There were two guys, that’s all I know”
“Well was they Caucasian or a negro?” He said in a sinister tone.
Are we in 1950? “I have no idea I wasn’t here” I realized he was standing right in front of me and would’ve been breathing down my neck if there wasn’t plexi-glass. Sometimes I really like the cage where it is…like today…
“Oh…you wasn’t here…” He glared at me for not looking at him and then stalked out of the store with a scowl on his face.
I was relieved my new creeper left the store and when I sat down I opened another window in Microsoft Word to add this new story. I was working on an abbreviated version so I could come back to it later. But I didn’t get far when the Love Lips jingle sounded again. To my bewilderment Mr. 20 Question’s was striding up to my window again and fixed me with a serious look.
“Who owns this place?” He demanded.
“We’re owned by a corporation” I said flatly.
“A corporation…” He said slowly like he was forcing his brain to process this information. “So you’s don’t own this place?”
“No sir, I do not” I blinked at him.
“Well you know if you guys would’ve paid me $100 I would’ve fucking killed those two bastards for you”
Blink-blink. Was I suddenly in the Twilight Zone? “Um…Well I doubt they’re coming back” Not to mention we have the cage up. Not to mention even if I did own the store privately I would definitely NOT pay you to creep my customers out…
“Well no shit they ain’t comin’ back!” He looked at me like I was a moron for saying that then said passionately, “You guys shoulda paid me, not them coppers.” He got a wild eyed crazy look and leaned as close as he could to the glass without hitting his forehead and said, “…cuz you know they’re fuckin’ thieves themselves…they are…” His drunken eyes got wider and he nodded like he had just shared vital information with me.
All I did was smile an awkward smile because I had no idea what to say or do and then without another word he left as quickly as he came, booze in hand from the liquor store next to us. God, what a day……
So how was your day?? *Smile-Blink-Smile*
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