One More Story

This is a funny short story. I didn’t want my last post to be a frustrated/angry post because let’s face it; my goal is to make people laugh at the crazy things that happen at my job. I thought this would be a good one to end with for today. This one is about a man who thinks we have a sort of relationship I was unaware of. Dontcha hate when that happens?

On March 4rth I was minding my own business reading a story on Three Ring Blogs, a very amusing site full of funny things, when a man walked into my store. Upon looking away from the screen I realized it was the older hillbilly looking man that walks past my store everyday to get to the liquor store next to us. He is an older gentleman with a pot belly (probably from beer) a salt and pepper goatee and mustache with a mullet. He looks like he would fit into a bar gang or biker gang with no problem because of the way he dresses and is covered head to toe in tattoos. I usually see him walking by with another older woman (possibly his wife or girlfriend) but regardless if she’s with him or not he STARES at me as he passes. Now let me give you a visual. The front of Love Lips has a giant window to the right and two glass doors and then another giant window on the left before it ends and becomes another store. So there’s a lot of space he walks past as he stares at me with a blank expression every-single-day. I get STARED at when he walks TO the liquor store and FROM the liquor store. At first when I started working there I was a little creeped out and sometimes waved at him because he was looking at me so intently I wasn’t sure what to do. But eventually it was so often I just ignored him and went about my business. But today was different. He actually CAME INTO THE STORE! I was kind of surprised to say the least so I said;

“Helllloo, how are ya today?” Trying to acknowledge with my tone I knew who he was.

“Good, how about yourself, hunnie?” He looked at me in a curious way and moved closer to the counter I was behind.

“Pretty good, it’s been a quiet day” I smiled at him and he walked past where I was and moved down the counter.

“It’s really nice outside today, isn’t it?” He said a little thickly.

I really thought he was already drunk despite not being to the liquor store yet. But he was being nice so I answered him as I looked from my phone to him now and then. “Yeah, I wish it would stay nice”

“I’ve always wanted to tell ya, you have great ink. I’m a tattoo artist myself.”

I smiled, “Thank you” I didn’t know what to say about the tattoo artist part because he definitely wouldn’t be my first choice to put something so final on my skin no matter how nice he was. He just didn’t seem like he would have a steady hand after so much booze.

“Where did ya get it done?”

“American Tattoo. They have some talented men up there and Jim did the art on my hands”

“Yeah I know them” He stared off into the distance before saying, “I love the blue on the eyes on your hands…(I have the eye of Horus and the Eye of Ra on my hands) I really need that color blue for my tattoo work” He looked at my hands like he was WILLING the blue to leak out of my hands into a bottle just for him.

If I was cartoon my eyes would have been very tiny at this point being at a loss for words. “Um…well maybe the guys up there could help you find the color?” I looked at him with a hopeful smile. But to my bewilderment he was staring off into space again like someone had hit the “pause” button in his brain. I blinked and went back to looking at my phone and it was a good minute or two before the “play” button was hit and he said something else.

He was heading slowly to the door and before he left he said to me, “So what I really came in here for was to tell you that I’m gonna be goin’ away for a couple of days and I didn’t want you to think I got thrown in jail or nothin’” He smiled at me.

Totally thrown by the comment I smiled a pretty smile and nodded and after a seconds delay said, “Thank you, that’s good to know”

He seemed pleased with my response and left without a good-bye. I had no idea we were on that close that he thought I’d worry about him desperately if he was “missing for a few days”.  Who knows…..It’s a strange world out there….

March 09^th

I was looking over the pick list (the inventory list to check in the items that were shipped to us from the warehouse) when I heard a loud knock on the window and low and behold my friend was back today! He nodded once and then STARED at me until the window ended….Ah….it’s good to know my STARING friend is back in my life, I didn’t know how to act without a creepy intense stare each and every day…