Dude Doesn’t Look Like a Lady
So for those of you who don’t know me, I started working at Love Lips in 2010 and when I first started the store looked like crap. With a lot of TLC I had the store in some order and then to my horror they sent in a team of people to tear all my hard work down in order to put viewing booths into my quiet store. It didn’t have the effect they wanted, hardly anyone came to use them and we also lost our dressing room because of the ‘brilliant’ peep booths being put in. of course with this added ‘bonus’ to our store we started to attract special people. In one case of the booths being put in I met one man I really don’t miss. I actually met him before the booths but I ended up seeing more of him after. I’ll tell you both stories.
*~*Before Booths*~*
It was a quite early morning and I was clinging to my coffee for dear life. It had been a rough week and I was very tired, I was praying for a slow day so I wouldn’t have to think too hard about anything. But to my disappointment the Love Lips jingle sounded and I saw a mousey looking, thin, and short man walk into the store. I said sleepily, “Good morning, let me know if I can help you with anything….”
“Alright, thanks” He said with a sketchy sideways glance at me.
I kept an eye on him as he looked around the lingerie section. This was pretty normal because most men who look in the lingerie section are looking for an outfit for their wife so I said, “Were you looking for anything in specific?”
“Not really, but if I want to try anything on can I?”
Ughhh it is too early for this! “Yes we do” I was too tired to really think anything of a man wanting to try on women’s lingerie. Everyone has their weird thing, why bother calling him out on it?
“Great, will you tell me if it looks OK?”
The music ripped to a stop, I do NOT get paid enough for this shit! “Um…no, we have a mirror in the dressing room so you can judge if you think your spouse is going to like it or not”
“Why won’t you tell me if it’s Ok?”
“Because I don’t feel comfortable telling you what I think, and I really don’t want to see” Harsh, yes but 90% of our lingerie outfits are pure see through and I had a sinking feeling he was going to come parading out of the dressing room right up to the front windows so everyone and their brother could see his package hanging out of a thong made for a woman. No thanks!
He gave me a dirty look, “That’s bad business”
“Were not paid to tell men OR women if they look good in an outfit, the clothes are see-through and I personally am not OK with that”
He huffed and put an outfit down, “Well I’ve had other cashiers tell me what they thought”
“That’s fine but I am not OK with it, I apologize but I don’t find it appropriate.” I don’t know how many ways I have to say it I don’t want to see your ugly man body in a pretty piece of lingerie. It does nothing for me, dude and you’re not exactly handsome so I don’t think wearing women’s lingerie is gonna make you look any better, sorry.
He gave me another scathing look and left our little shop. Upon talking to other co-workers he always did this to them as well and NEVER bought anything, he just liked the idea of trying women’s clothes on. He was not an attractive man and I felt sorry for the women on shift who did bother to tell him he looked like a pretty princess hoping he’d buy something and leave.
*~*After the booths*~*
It was a short work day for me and my patience was wearing thin. I was having a special kind of morning. One of my first customers was a strange woman, who had 1984 stretched over her giant ass in yoga pants that were way too tight. How did I know they were too tight? I could tell she had no panties on. It was quite disgusting. It didn’t help she also talked to herself, and responded to herself as she looked through our lingerie. Needless to say I was quite happy when she left the store. I was recovering from the 1984 women who our little mousey friend came in the store. He put 3 dollars down on the counter and went back into the booth area without a word to me. I rang him up even though he had already walked through the swinging doors. He was back there for a good half hour before I saw him again. I had other people in the store and this apparently was his cue. He walked through the swinging doors with one hand cocked to the side and swayed his hips like he was on a drag show. It took me a second to realize he had taken his plaid shirt off and a black dress tucked into his jeans. He shimmied up to the counter and said as loudly as he could, “Can I have a Kleenex? It’s a little messy back there” He said with a sneer.
Seriously? No shit Sherlock, you were jacking off back there! I handed him a paper towel, “We only have paper towels” I glared at him for making a scene in front of paying customers who weren’t acting like an asshole. I knew he was doing this because of the first time we met.
“Thanks” He said with a lisp and walked back into the view booth area with many sideways looks and gawking glances from the customers I had in the store. I kinda wanted to shove the whole paper towel roll up his annoying ass but figured he might like that too much.
I later found out he made a scene like that on purpose to humiliate me and make me uncomfortable. I personally couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it; I was more upset he was being disrespectful to the other customers for the sole purpose to try to make me squeamish. I was totally fine with the dress, it was the see-through stuff I didn’t want to see on him. I also had confirmation from the same co-worker that he was a closet gay man, married with kids who went to the peep booths to give blow jobs and receive oral sex. He claimed doing it with men at booths meant he wasn’t cheating on his wife this way. Riiiiggghhhtttt. I swear people need reality checks. I thankfully have not seen him again.
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