Always Ask, for YOUR Safety!!!

Always Ask, for YOUR Safety!

This next story was quite an interesting conversation worthy of going onto the blog. This happened a while back when the pink computer had fried and I was out of commission for a while. But I will never forget the scenario I’m about to explain to you.

It was a quiet morning and I was cleaning the inside of the cases to keep myself busy when the Love Lips jingle sounded me to stand up and greet the new comer. “Welcome to Love Lips! Let me know if I can help you with anything” I said politely. I noted that the woman was a well dressed medium built African American woman with very pretty smoky blue eyes (it was hard to miss because of how unusual the color was)

“Thanks” She said simply and started to look around then after a few seconds se said to me, “I’m going on vacation to visit my on line boyfriend down in Florida and want to know what you may have that could be fun to use while I’m down there” Easy! I showed her bullets, hand cuffs and silk blind folds, massage oils, and ticklers. But nothing seemed to catch her fancy and she said, “Alright, thanks. We’ve tried most of that stuff”

“Well, we also have the vibrating cock rings” I said hopefully.

“Hmm” I showed her the Screaming O and after a few minutes of playing with the device she set it back down and shook her head. “Alright, I’m gonna just look, thanks for your help”

It sometimes aggravates me that people come in looking for things to “spice” up their sex lives but anything they haven’t already tried is an automatic “no” or “my boyfriend/girlfriend won’t try that”. To try something new means to try something new. But back to the story! I went back to putting things back on the top shelf in the glass cases when I heard her say loudly, “I remember these!” She picked up a dildo looking at it like it was something disgusting yet intriguing

I smiled her way, not sure how to respond but I didn’t actually have to because she said suddenly, “I don’t know why men bring these things into the bed room, I mean they already have one!”

Eyebrow raised I just nodded. I am a firm believer in exploring all comfortable avenues of sex if you are comfortable with the partner you’re with, but to each their own.

“I remember there was one guy I was dating that didn’t tell me he was bringing toys to bed and he just whipped it out from under the pillow and just expected me to be OK with that! I mean what the hell?!”

Feeling like I needed to respond I said, “Well a lot of couples try to bring sex toys in to spice things up. Maybe he just wanted to try something new with you?” When I saw her eyes look a little stormy I added, “But I agree, he should’ve talked to you first.” I dunno what her issue was but most women that visit my establishment complain about how their men won’t try anything toy wise with them and they have to beg. But like I said before, whatever floats your boat…

“I guess but let me tell you, no one brings toys into my bed without telling me”

Allrrigghhttyy then…Yes ma’am!

“I’ll tell you somethin’; I was SO MAD I beat him over the head with that damned dildo until he was cowering in the corner then I cut that stupid thing and threw the pieces at the dumb ass!”

W-T-F?!? I dunno about you but what the heck do you cut a dildo with?! Those things are solid all the way through and I can’t imagine finding something THAT sharp to cut it to pieces….That poor guy. I smiled gingerly at her and she continued the conversation like what she did was normal. “I mean now if I bring the toys to the bedroom that’s OK. Why men think it’s a good idea is beyond me…” She shook her head at the toys she was in front as she continued to look now through the bullet section. She started to talk to me about this new guy she was with and how big he was and how she couldn’t wait to get down to him but she was very unsure if he really loved her. This woman was quite crazy and I feared for this new guy’s sanity and face (he might just get a dildo in the eye). She stayed in the store for a long time talking to me so to cut this short so I don’t bore you to pieces, I had to play therapist and assure her that she was worthy of being treated like a woman and not an object and by the time she was done all she bought was a bullet and batteries and I kinda wanted to beat my head against the wall. So, the moral of this story is; ALWAYS tell your partner that you might want to bring sex toys into the bedroom because you never know who is going to beat you with a dildo then cut it up into pieces and throw them at you until you cry. You have been warned.