HELP ME!!!

HELP ME!!

Boy did I ever need help this afternoon. I swear I wish sometimes we were like a normal retail store with more than one person working. I mean I know we’re too slow for that but this afternoon I think I was allowed to day dream about working with someone else. It was a SLOW day, only 2 customers since 9AM and it was already about 1:40. Compared to last week, it was just plain depressing with how slow it was. I was actually typing up another story that will be posted tomorrow when I noticed the sun in the window was being blocked by a figure in the window. I looked up from my typing and there was a man staring at me in between two hanging mannequins in the window. I jumped a little from surprise. I sadly knew this man; he came into the store last week, briefly to ask me who I was because he had never seen me before. He always dressed like he might be homeless and his beard and his clothes screamed he was unkempt. After a few seconds of just looking at each other, me silently praying he didn’t come into the store, he waved lazily and walked away from the window quickly. I was musing on how I hadn’t seen my original staring guy for some months now when the door opened and the Love Lips jingle sounded. I closed the lap top and looked up. To my disappointment the man at the window had stumbled slightly through the door. “Hey” He said gruffly.

“Hello, how are you doin’ today?” I said, hoping this was going to be an equally as sort visit from him.

“Shitty” He said gruffly.

“I’m sorry” I said truthfully, I mean everyone’s had one of those days.

“Thank you, I found out two days ago my old lady was cheatin’ on me” He said as he settled himself in a comfortable standing position facing me while leaning on the glass counter.

“Oh…wow I’m sorry” I mean what do you say to something like that to someone you don’t really actually know?

“Well she’s not old, but she’s not a lady either…” He muttered to himself and stared off into space.

I smiled; I didn’t know what else to do.

He looked at me, “You have a beautiful smile”

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome” He smiled at me, “You got a boyfriend?”

I tried not to say ‘yes’ too quickly so I didn’t sound insincere. I mean I wasn’t being sincere because my ‘boyfriend’ is actually a woman but he didn’t need to know that. Even if I was straight and single there’d be NO WAY in Hell I would’ve been interested anyway. “Yes I do”

“Aww too bad…” He said with a crooked smile. “I mean that’s good but too bad”

I smiled again, it’s not the best defense but like I said before, what else would I say?

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I mean I don’t need her but I need a girlfriend. I mean I don’t need a girlfriend but I want a girlfriend….you know what I mean? I just don’t know what I’m going to do now”

“You’ll be ok, you just gotta put one foot in front of the other. It’ll get better over time…”

“I know but I’m an alcoholic, you know that right? I’m already three sheets to the wind”

My insistent smile wavered. “Well that won’t help…”

“I know but I’m just so depressed I don’t know what else to do!” He cried in agony.

I looked down, I really had no idea what to say or do.

“You Ok?” He said curiously and with a worried tone.

“Yeah I’m fine!” I smiled brightly. I felt like Sookie Stackhouse with the smiling thing.

“You’re not depressed are you?”

“Nope” I wish you’d go home and sleep it off tho!

“That’s good. Really good. You know if you told me you’d have a great day it’d make my day better”

“Well, I’m sure I’m going to have a great day” My day will be better when you leave. SMILE!

He smiled back at me dreamily, “Good….real good. I promise I’m not trouble at all or nothin’ But do you mind?” He pulled a vodka bottle out and took a swig of it.

I was growing more uncomfortable and wondering if I should call someone, but he broke my train of thought.

“You OK?”

“Yes” I smiled again and made sure to look at him to show him I was OK, he looked like he was getting ready to leave by the way he kept staring at the door and taking slow steps towards it.

That’s when 98 Rock played Chevelle’s “Send the Pain Bellow” song and he held his hands out like he was catching his balance. “Oh after this song I’ll leave…” I LOVE the rock band Chevelle….but not today. He stood there swaying to the music and he would sing a few words here and there and that’s when he started to CRY. At first I thought he was fucking around with me, trying to get me to touch his hand or something. But no, he was really crying. I looked around helplessly, trying desperately not to laugh, not from being rude but because I had no idea what to do. It was also funny because I was thinking this morning I am running out of stories so I was going to have to brave the new Face Book and dig for old ones. But then I had this guy come in. The Universe works in strange ways and tends to have a sense of humor like this, I kind of felt like it was saying, “You asked for it” when I was wishing for something interesting to happen today. So while trying to keep a straight face I looked at him a few times I couldn’t tell if he was making himself cry or not because I could’ve sworn I saw him peek through squinted eyes to check to see if I was looking at him cry. But there were real tears and real snot as well (Yuck). That was the longest 4:12 minutes of my life and I was wondering if I could handle listening to that song again after this. I handed him a paper towel. “Sorry we don’t have tissues…”

“It’s OK, bless you…bless you” I blinked but continued to look down as he blew his nose.

I tried to gently hint it was time for him to go home now. “You be safe going home, OK?”

“You know, I believe in God, I pray every day and He still puts me through this shit”

Oh no were going onto religion now. I wasn’t going to say anything on this subject, this topic never ended well for anyone and he was drunker than a skunk.

“I know, I know” He nodded like I was chastising him silently, “I’ll just keep on prayin’ every day to Him and hopefully it’ll get better…”

“Prayer is good, it will get better, just give it time” I said softly, I really did feel bad for him but was very much done with his stay.

He crossed himself and closed his eyes and bowed his head like I was a statue of a Saint. He folded his hands in prayer and said solemnly to me, “Bless you…”

I nodded, “Be safe going home, ok?”

“Yeah yeah…” As he started to leave Nine Inch Nails “Closer” came on and he stopped mid-stride. “Is this NIN?”

“Yeah…” Ugh…

He walked back to the counter to lean and sing the new song disjointedly. I started to ignore him flat out so he’d get the idea; I was giving him a few more minutes before I called someone. Halfway through the song he said, “OK I gotta go or else I’m gonna pass out”

“Be safe!” I said happily.

“Thanks…you too hunnie….” He smiled sadly and left the store and started to sing the line “Help Me” from the song “Closer” and then once the door was closing he screamed “HELP ME!” and kept screaming that as he walked towards the auto shop nearby.

All I could do was laugh because that had to be one of the craziest things I have dealt with, and as you’ve read I’ve seen and heard a lot. I’m glad the day is over.