Friday, September 30, 2011

Play Boy Bunny?

Sadly, I had no good Crazy Phone Calls this week but I do have a story for you from last week.

Play Boy Bunny?

Sometimes I post stories on Face Book and forget to elaborate on them here on this blog. This story was one of them. It was last week sometime when I had just opened, last week seemed to be back-to-back people and I loved that I was finally having a decent work day full of customers. He was one of my first customers and I actually wasn’t expecting him to be blog worthy. But people in Dundalk like to keep you guessing whose nuts and who’s not. I was getting the paper work for the day together when the Love Lips jingle chimed and in walked a man in his late 20’s, bald, fit and muscular. I at least thought he looked buff but upon further inspection something was little off. His upper chest muscles were super puffy and the lower part of his torso was kind of flabby, I couldn’t quite figure out why he looked so disproportionate. I caught myself staring at him as he walked over to the men’s lingerie and later I realized trying to figure out what was wrong ended up being a mistake. Shaking off the fact I couldn’t figure out what was wrong I said, “If I can help you with anything, let me know” Staring to figure out what was wrong with his body was mistake # 1.
“Yeah, do you have this in an XL?” He pulled a Play Boy Bunny long sleeved shirt out to show me.
“Sadly that’s all we have, we don’t have a stock room so everything that is out is what we have” I said with an apologetic smile.
“Aww, OK....what size is the mannequin’s shirt?” We have an upper body mannequin that sits low on the floor. He’s a headless mannequin I have named Chuck. My heart sank, I found out the hard way getting clothes off Chuck is difficult because his arms only move straight upwards and the body is sculpted to be buff looking so getting a shirt off is hard. Chuck’s arms also don’t move correctly, one arm doesn’t like to stay up in the air and he copped a feel that one day. We had words. So I got up and walked round to check the tag on Chuck’s shirt. “It’s a Large, too. Sorry” I was happy I didn’t have to disrobe Chuck again, I’m sure he was sad he wouldn’t have an excuse to touch my boob again but he’ll live.
“Well, let me try on the Large and I’ll see if it fits. What colors do you like better?”
Ugh, I don’t care…I looked at the black and red Play Boy Bunny shirt he had in one hand and in the other he held a grey and blue Play Boy Bunny shirt. “Red? I’ve always liked red” Mistake # 2.
He gave me a funny look and said, “Ok, red. Should I just try it on here?”
“Um...we have a dressing room in the back?” I wasn’t sure if he was going to keep his shirt on to try it on. Besides it looked like it was going to be too small, the poor people outside didn’t need to see that.
He took the red and black one in the back to try it on. I moved into the toy section to rearrange some things as he walked back into the dressing rooms. I realized after moving a few items he was looking at me half like he thought I was spying on him or going to walk back with him. I busied myself to make sure I was clearly stating silently I was NOT looking at him. He then came out a few seconds later stuffed into the Play Boy Bunny shirt. “It’s too tight, isn’t it?”
I couldn’t lie, it was way too tight. It just accented how disproportionate his upper body was. “Yeah, it is. I’ll E-Mail the warehouse to see if we can get bigger sizes” Without warning he whipped the shirt off and I quickly faced the toys again so I thankfully didn’t see anything. I really didn’t want to see him shirtless but I apparently had given the impression I wanted to. I felt him linger for a few heart beats before he went back into the dressing room. I’m glad he didn’t touch me or move closer to me because then I’d be blogging from jail.
He came back out a few minutes later dressed, “So you’ll know if you can get bigger sizes in, when?”

“If you call us tomorrow I can have an answer for you” I said as I typed the E-Mail to the person in charge of the lingerie section.
“Nah, thanks though” He kept looking at me waiting to see if I was going to say anything else but then after a pause he said, “Alright, have a great night”
“You too” I was very glad to be free of his sweet smelling cologne.
Why do men think if you’re nice to them you’re hitting on them? I really don’t get it. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

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