Stick Up?

Stick Up?

This is a short-short story that further proves that doing drugs (even marijuana) is a bad idea.

The Love Lips bell jingled early one morning and I hadn’t quite ad enough coffee and I said sleepily, “Good morning, let me know if I can help you wi—“

“Yeah I have a question”

I looked towards her, she looked rough around the edges, kind of like she had just rolled out of bed and thrown on clothes from 3 days earlier. “What can I help you with, hon?”

“Do you have anything to stick up inside you?”

This is an Adult Store….so yes we have many things that do that…precious.  “Can you be a little more specific? We have a lot of things here for that purpose” Then for a good 5 minutes she stared at me like someone had hit the ‘Pause’ button and I stared back at her waiting for her to respond. I blinked and I shifted in my chair uncomfortably then said, “Can you please be more specific?” The awkwardness was almost tangible and suffocating me.

After staring at me for a few more seconds someone pressed ‘Play’ to her brain and she huffed like a puffed up pigeon as she said exasperatedly, “Like for a pee test?” The look she gave me was mocking and wondering if I was the one who was the awkward one.

“No ma’am we do not have anything like that”

“Seriously? They make little vials that you have someone pee in for you and you stick it up your cootch and then use that for your test. You really don’t have something like that??”

“Nope, you may want to try a head shop; all we have is a drink that flushes your system”

“You gotta drink it all, right?”

“Yes ma’am”

“Man that shit don’t work!”

I wouldn’t know…”I’m sorry, hon”

She huffed and left the store and all I could think was that was a poor choice of words to say in an Adult Store.