Thursday, September 1, 2011

Why Do Girls Have All the Fun?

Why Do Girls Have All the Fun?

This story I have to admit was quite funny because I believe the man I had the conversation with was a comedian that was visiting from out of town which just adds to how epic the conversation turned out.  But let me just say I have been waiting for the right story to tell about something I hear very often from men. The age old question; “Why do women have so many types of toys and men don’t have as big of a selection?!” I seriously get this question at least twice in a month’s period. I really never have anything to respond because I’m not really quite sure what they want me to say? I am not responsible for what the toy companies make and I can only order so many fake vaginas, buttholes, and mouth shaped toys for them before they complain “it’s all the same”. There really isn’t anything else to try besides anal for men and let’s face it, 70% of men are terrified to try anal yet expect women to want anal. But that’s a whole different bucket of worms. So this was a day I was working night shift (I don’t remember why) and I was having a decent customer flow and I remember it had been a hard day because most of the people I had dealt with were very rude and cheeky with me and I was feeling like a cat that had gone to the vet’s office and had been poked with a needle one too many times. So when this man walked in and he kept making subtle sexual comments about me and other things in the store I was ready to take his face off but because this is a retail business I smiled and kept my angry cat feelings to myself….or at least I tried….
“I’m looking for something for my wife of 14 years. So, what can you recommend?”
“Bullets tend to be the woman’s favorite choice here because it’s clitoral stimulation. Good for foreplay and during sex” I suggested, still trying to keep my cool and not shoot daggers from my eyes.
“Wow, sounds like you know a lot about these little things”
“Yup. I do work here” I said through my teeth and a strained smile.
“So…you wanna how me how to work on of these things properly?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
If I could’ve hissed at him, I would have. That “joke” never will be or is a funny one to me. I looked at him with distaste and went to rearrange things in the case.
“Aww I’m just teasin’ you kid”
I didn’t respond, I was a woman alone in the store at night and I wasn’t in the joking kind of mood, especially a sexual joke in bad taste. He continued to look around in silence and I started to feel a little bad for being so moody, but I really do hate when men ask me to test toys on myself so after another 10 minutes of silence I said, “If you have any other questions let me know” I smiled a more relaxed smile.
“Nah, I think I found what I was looking for” He brought up a silver bullet and as he opened his wallet he said to me, “I do have a question”
“Yes?”
“Why do women have so many toys? I mean what about us! All we have are those pocket pussies and butts”
Without missing a beat or even thinking I said, “Well, there’s only so many things you can wrap around a pole verses putting in a hole”
He looked at me wide eyed and I looked back at him equally as shocked, I really had no idea where that came from and I had to refrain from laughing.
He laughed quietly to himself, “Alright, I think I know when I’ve been put in my place. That makes total sense. Thanks for making my night, kid”
He left with his wife’s new toy and a giant smile on his face. I laughed for a good while after he left and the whole night officially turned around after that.

No comments:

Post a Comment